Waking early on a weekend is not my usual idea of a good thing. I am normally more content to wallow in the comfortable cocoon of soft covers that caress me as I dream my often weird and wonderful dreams. However this weekend saw my desire to attend my first makers faire in the fair town of Brighton. So with the shrill chirp of my alarm I stirred from slumber and staggered to the shower only occasionally grumbling about the early hour. Daily ablutions complete and now only slightly more awake I headed for the station for my trip into the city.
As is my want now days I always buy my train tickets online then always struggle collecting the darn things from the touch screen machines employed for the sole purpose, I believe, of keeping paying customers from their tickets of destination. As I tried and tried multiple times to stab the 'L' button to get it to register my interest in selecting the elusive character I had one of those random thoughts that often springs into my weird little mind, just how many others folks before me had interacted with this screen and more importantly what were their hygiene habits?
It was one of those thoughts that you can never really shake once it has inserted itself in your minds centre and refuses to budge. As a result a mental note was made to wash my hands as soon as possible but without immediately screaming and running off to a nearby public convenience as I have not yet reached that level of sanity......I say yet.
As I had thirty minutes to kill until my train departed I decided to take the opportunity to frequent a store who could extract coffee tasting liquid from that cheeky bean. After being rebuked by my good friend Missy just the night before I decided to forego my usual Mocha choice and opted for her Americano with milk. I ordered the large version, as I still can't bring myself to say venti. So, there I sat with something the size of a cereal bowl before me filled with hot steaming coffee and I let the world pass me by. Well, not the entire world of course as I only had twenty minutes but a fair slice of it.
Eventually, as is usually the way in this cause and effect world, my bowl was empty and my bladder was full so a sneaky visit to the little boys room was in order. Now, if you take nothing from this post but one thing let it be this simple fact. Never, ever, never use the toilets in the upstairs food hall of Victoria station. Firstly they cost 30p to gain entry and they consist of...bare in mind this is one of the busiest stations in the capital....they consist of two urinals and two stall, one of which was broken on this occasion.
So there I stood with a small collection of other gents all waiting to use the facilities in a space no bigger than a small flats bathroom. To use the urinal someone had to move, to use the stall some one had to move, to use the sink someone had to move and finally to use the hand dryer, well you can guess. Finally and thankfully this rather strange dance of the convenience was over and I was out looking for my train to board.
Locating platform 15, it had sneakily been tucked down the side of the station in a rather absent minded fashion, I boarded and was lucky enough to find a seat with a table. This gave me the opportunity to do something I had never done before. Work on my Mac in public. Oh we've all seen the type, sitting there usually in coffee shops brow furrowed in deep concentration as they work on that book, or business report or even that last annoying level of Angry Birds that no one can ever get three stars on. Since I just recorded the first show of 'Here N There' with Missy the previous night I took the opportunity to open the MacBook and get to work on GarageBand. Oh what a professional looking chap I must look I kidded myself as I sat there skilfully tapping at the keys and sliding my finger across the touchpad. However, I expect to anyone watching me I looked like a complete twit.
The trip was about 50 minutes long and so I had ample time to get the show edited and completed. So although I may look like a complete brat it was time well spent. Hopefully by now you would have had the opportunity to listen to the results of that work and I hope you judge it more kindly then the folks that had to suffer my pomposity in the seat across from me. Naturally I shall spill all the goings on at Brighton on the next show and I might not even require a train ride to edit the show....I said might.