Karl's

A Master Minor Mind Criminal.

Transient

The idea of being a super crook as portrayed by the likes George Clooney and Brad Pitt in Oceans 11 has always been an appealing thought for your average bloke (or it might just be more to do with getting the same ladies as George or Brad, but never mind that right now). The idea of carefully and stealthily planning out your heist with painstaking timing and paying attention to each and every detail so that when you finally spring your heist everything goes like clock work and you can slip away scott free. 

Well it would appear there is a much simpler way of pulling off that expensive jewellery heist and that is to simply swallow the darn thing. 

As 32 year old man (why is ages important in these stories?) in Sri-Lanka thought it would be a breeze to swallow a 1.5 carat diamond valued at the princely sum of £9,000. In a daring, exciting and, let's face it, stupid plan. His fellow partner in crime was to distract the gems owner while he popped the jewel down his throat and I can only imagine proceeded to look completely innocent and wave his arms about in innocence as to not knowing the location of the stone.

When the gems owner realised what had happened he, understandably, tackled the miscreant and to prevent him from carrying out his masterminded activity of legging it.

X-rays revealed the gem was 'probably' inside the man and so a course of laxatives were prescribed to try and loosen the stone but the gem refused to budge. I feel sorry for the official who had to sift through the results of the laxative as I'd have to imagine it must be amongst the crappiest job on earth.